At least the mullahs still take Britain seriously. While the rest of the world has been laughing at our expenses scandal, last week Manochehr Mottaki, Iran’s foreign minister, paid us the highest diplomatic compliment – that of believing in our malevolent powers. Mottaki blames the democratic Twitter revolution on the activities of dozens of James Bonds flown in by MI6 from London. Presumably their tuxedos and ferocious consumption of martinis, shaken or otherwise, alerted the authorities to their true identity and nefarious intentions.

But the Iranians, with their bitter memories of our imperial heyday, alas, are the exception to the rule. Our other friends and enemies believe Britain is, at best, marking time while Gordon Brown concentrates all his...