Syria Burns, Assads Watch Harry Potter

Which Hogwarts house does President Bashar al-Assad identify with when he curls up on the couch with his wife to watch Harry Potter and the Death Hallows Part II? And when he emails her the lyrics from country-and-western crooner Blake Shelton’s “God Gave Me You,” declaring that “The person that I’ve been lately / Ain’t who I wanna be,” is he talking about the fact that his security forces are pulverizing the Baba Amr neighborhood of Homs, or has he just been a little snippy around the house with Asma and the kids that morning? What about when Assad downloads New Order’s 1987 electro-pop hit Bizarre Love Triangle from i-Tunes: is he thinking of his regime’s ties to Iran and Russia, or is he simply remembering a more carefree time on some London dance-floor before the death of his older brother — and his father’s heir apparent — Basel in 1994 dragged him back home to be groomed to run the regime?