It will no doubt cheer you to discover that as well as spending much of this Easter weekend stuck in traffic, the rest of it being rained on, and all of it having to deal with family members who are high as a kite on sugar, you will also manage to rape and pillage the country of any natural resources it has left.
I was going to break it to you gently, but then I thought, "No, what's the point?" Tomorrow, as we contemplate the fact that Jesus Christ died for our sins, we will officially use up all of the earthly bounty the United Kingdom has to offer. There will be no more minerals or natural gases to use. That's our lot, at least until January 1, 2010. We will have to start living off the fruits of some other, more promising land.
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