Gordon Brown was still reshuffling ministers when the first, ominous European results trickled in. Unable to watch the final of The Apprentice, in which his ghastly new "enterprise tsar", Sir Alan Sugar, chose a winner, Mr Brown asked for a transcript to be delivered to Number 10 yesterday morning.
No doubt, the rebels in the Parliamentary Labour Party were similarly hooked. They want a new leader, and many long to tell Alan Johnson: "You're hired." While Sugar's finalists, Kate and Yasmina, had to design a box of chocolates, nothing so arduous is planned for Mr Johnson. In his promoters' dreams, he will be wafted into Number 10 before you can cry "Choc d'Amour" (the runner-up's confection), while Mr Brown is made to swallow Labour's own-brand strychnine truffles.
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