At least the mullahs still take Britain seriously. While the rest of the world has been laughing at our expenses scandal, last week Manochehr Mottaki, Iran’s foreign minister, paid us the highest diplomatic compliment – that of believing in our malevolent powers. Mottaki blames the democratic Twitter revolution on the activities of dozens of James Bonds flown in by MI6 from London. Presumably their tuxedos and ferocious consumption of martinis, shaken or otherwise, alerted the authorities to their true identity and nefarious intentions.
But the Iranians, with their bitter memories of our imperial heyday, alas, are the exception to the rule. Our other friends and enemies believe Britain is, at best, marking time while Gordon Brown concentrates all his resources on survival. At worst, they believe the country no longer counts. The problem is the prime minister can’t articulate a vision of our place in the world. Perhaps he doesn’t have one.
One who knows the Washington foreign policy establishment at a very high level recently came back dumb-founded: “They are sniggering at us.” Another foreign elder statesman and old friend of Britain believes the country has gone to the dogs. Tales of moats and duck houses are repeated around the globe, confirming the Wodehousian caricature of stuffy old Brits, although avarice has now been added to our national portrait. The Australians are ribbing us with a “visit Oz” tourist campaign showing a spoof expenses form completed by an MP who “sought temporary accommodation at Kangaroo Island with family, whilst constituency house underwent renovation. Cost to taxpayer, £18,726”. How we laugh.
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