Iceland’s threat to default on its debt to Britain should surprise no one. Icelanders are, by nature, intrinsically unreasonable. It is part of their charm and the secret of their survival. If the founders of that unique nation — Norwegians, escaping from medieval tyranny, with their Irish and Scottish slaves and women they kidnapped during their flight — had made a rational appraisal of their prospects, they would not have settled on a giant lump of lava in the cold ocean just south of the Arctic Circle.
The national genetic records are precise. The men and women who want to repudiate the obligation to repay the loan are directly descended from the heroes of the sagas. When those marauding old Norsemen found that they had mistaken Venice for Constantinople, they sacked it anyway because sacking was their business. Their progeny are not going to feel many qualms about keeping £3.6 billion of somebody else’s money.
I came into head-on collision with Iceland’s national characteristic when I was Officer Commanding Her Majesty’s Forces in the last Cod War of 1975-76. Of course we lost. True, the Icelanders had unilaterally decided to claim national jurisdiction over international waters. But it was not their habit, when their national interests were threatened, to concern themselves with legal niceties. Icelandic gunboats just sailed between British trawlers and their nets, cutting the “warps” that connected them.
I should have realised, as soon as I arrived for the initial talks in Reykjavik, that Britain battled against overwhelming psychological odds. My explicit instruction from the Prime Minister was to return home if the attacks continued while I was in Iceland. Our Ambassador greeted me at the airport with the news that a warp had been cut at exactly the moment when my aircraft touched down. Our party — diplomats, Ministry of Agriculture civil servants and representatives of the industry — enjoyed a fascinating hour discussing whether or not the outrage had actually been committed “during” our visit. The Icelanders were — and probably still are — the most educated people in the world. But they would not have responded to similar provocation with protracted exegesis of the word “during”.
We decided to stay, and that sign of weakness guaranteed that the first talks ended in deadlock. So did subsequent negotiations held in London — though the failure may have been, in part, the result of Government Hospitality’s decision to feed the Icelandic foreign minister on what was clearly frozen scampi. Then the Icelanders, with their unerring instinct for causing me inconvenience, demanded an immediate resumption of the discussions when I was in Los Angeles. At the end of a difficult journey, I welcomed a day of rest and recreation spent visiting the historic sights of Reykjavik.
The first stop was the world’s oldest parliament — pinnacles of rock around a natural amphitheatre on which law-givers had first sat in AD930. Next to it was what my guide called “the punishment pool”. It was, he explained, used for drowning adulterous women. “Same period?” I asked. “Last one 1912,” he told me.
I have no doubt that he invented the whole story to unnerve me. It had the desired effect. I offered some minor concessions. The Icelanders made new major demands. Deadlock again. Henry Kissinger sent me a quotation from Bismarck. “How great is the tyranny to which small nations can subject the great.” It was no consolation.
On the day after the negotiations broke down, the domestic staff did not report for duty at the embassy residence. It was the only time in my life that an ambassador brought me early morning tea in bed. It was accompanied by the news that, for some unknown reason, there was no hot water and that the Icelandic authorities advised that we left the island at once. The pilot of our small private plane was worried about the weather, but he was persuaded — by confidential talks with the police — to take the risk.
After our bumpy, stomach-churning take-off, he came into the cabin to pay his respects. I recognised him at once. Had we not, I asked, played football together at university? He remembered our last game well. I had broken his nose, even though we were playing on the same side. It was the thought of the contempt that my clumsy incompetence would have raised in the Icelanders, not the turbulence, that made me feel unwell. In fact, instead of merely despising me, they made me a hate figure, Public Enemy No 1.
Reykjavik’s innumerable newspapers denounced me as the oppressor of small nations. If any of them still remember me, they will still not believe that I feel ( perhaps perverse) admiration for their concentrated bloody-mindedness. There are Viking tombstones in the Great Wall of China. Reasonable men would not have sailed open boats to the other side of the world.
I liked Iceland enough to return twenty years after the Battles of Reykjavik were fought and lost. The obsession with national identity endures. My host reminded me that Icelandic horses are different from other horses. They have five different gaits while ordinary horses have only four. He also pointed out some sheltered rock crevices in which a group of deviant Icelanders had tried to plant trees. Their efforts had been almost universally condemned. Trees are not indigenous to Iceland. Importing them was a denial of the country’s status, embodied in the title of Halldór Laxness’s great novel — Independent People.
The purpose of my (newspaper- financed) visit was an investigation of the genetic research centre where, a blood sample having been tested, the secrets of my DNA would be revealed.
“You have,” the director told me, “the cancer gene, the thrombosis gene and the Alzheimer gene.”
Looking for a silver lining, I added: “And the obesity gene?” Had not my mother told me “It’s the way you’re made”?
The director did not hesitate. “No. You are fat because you choose to be fat.”
Another admirable Icelandic characteristic is a reluctance to mince words.
Lord Hattersley was a Foreign Office minister, 1974-76, and deputy leader of the Labour Party, 1983-92
Order By:
Would you like to post a comment? Please register or log in
function blogURL(bUrls) { window.location=bUrls; } fieldset { float:left; width:165px; border:0px; margin:0px; padding:0px; } OUR COLUMNISTS
Columnists
Select David Aaronovitch Simon Barnes Camilla Cavendish Jeremy Clarkson Giles Coren Robert Crampton Daniel Finkelstein Michael Gove Anatole Kaletsky India Knight Dominic Lawson Leo Lewis Rod Liddle Magnus Linklater Ben MacIntyre Bronwen Maddox Minette Marrin Carol Midgley Caitlin Moran Richard Morrison Matthew Parris Michael Portillo Libby Purves William Rees-Mogg Melanie Reid Peter Riddell Hugo Rifkind Sathnam Sanghera Frank Skinner Graham Stewart Andrew Sullivan Rachel Sylvester Janice Turner Guest contributors
Blogs
Select Alpha Mummy Archive Blog David Aaronovitch Asia Exile Baby Barista Blockbuster Buzz Gerard Baker Charles Bremner Big Brother Mary Beard Comment Central Consumer Central Cricket Blog Eco Worrier Faith Central Fashion Formula One Ruth Gledhill Inside Iraq Ariel Leve India Knight Money Rafael Nadal News Blog William Rees-Mogg Rugby Sinofile Mick Smith Sports Commentary Irwin Stelzer Peter Stothard Surf Nation Technology Travel Urban dirt Video Wimbledon
Cartoon More cartoons Peter Stothard
The Editor of the TLS writes on books, people and politics
A Don's Life
Mary Beard of Cambridge and the TLS on culture ancient and modern
Competition: Find the world's most pedantic or pathetic graffiti? Comment Central MOST READ MOST COMMENTED MOST CURIOUS Most Read Skip Most Read Today Mrs Robinson and the 'lover aged 19' Brown forced to pay high price for Cabinet's... Peter Robinson defiant amid 'rule breach'... Jonathan Ross quits BBC and bids for stardom... MOST COMMENTED Skip Editor's Pick Today if(isArticle == "true" && articleHeadlines.length!=0){ for(var j=0; j=45){ headline = articleHeadlines[j].substring(0,44)+"..."; } document.write(""+headline +""); } }else{ fSubmitMostCommented('http://community.timesonline.co.uk/ver1.0/Direct/Process'); } MOST CURIOUS Skip Most Curious Today Soprano Daniela Dessi quits opera after... Celebrity Watch: Alex Reid for 007? Schools bar children from palace of poetry,... Chinese face eviction for spitting or... Focus Zone Need to Know:
Industry sectors news at a glance. Interactive heatmap, video and podcast
Winter Sports:
Get ready for the winter sports season, with our resort guides and snow reports
Mapping Business:
We are backing British business, what is the confidence of the nation and what businesses are succeeding?
The Future of Energy:
Growing demand for energy, oil that is harder to reach and the rise of carbon dioxide emissions. We examine the energy challenge
My Dinner Party:
In this special section we explore new food trends to help improve your dinner party and impress guests
More reports:
Enjoy further reading from Travel to Fashion, Business to Sport, discover more
Need to Know Winter Sports Mapping Business The Future of Energy My Dinner Party More reports Births, deaths, marriages
Place your announcement
Encounters Dating
We'd love to find you someone special
Crossword Club
Sign up today or try one of our free demo crosswords
Free CV Review
Sell yourself! Have your CV reviewed by experts
Announcements
Search The Times Births, Marriages & Deaths
Online Sudoku with daily prizes Find a Lawyer
Cut your legal costs
Classifieds Cars Jobs Property Travel Cars Skip Cars of the Week Ferrari F355 F1
1998 £47,955
Lamborghini Gallardo
2004 £56,950 Essex
Apply for car finance?
Check your free Experian credit report before applying
Great car insurance deals online
Car Insurance
Search for more cars and bikes Jobs Skip Jobs of the Week Senior Prison Managers
From £44,589 HM PRISON SERVICE Nationwide
CRIME SOLICITOR
Competitive Hickman and Rose London
EFFICIENT SECRETARY/PERSONAL ASSISTANT
Romulus Construction Limited London
Chief Executive
£100,000 Home Office Liverpool
Search more Jobs Properties Luxury development in the heart of Battersea.
Moments from Battersea Park.
Double-fronted 4 bed, 4 reception house near Eltham Palace.
For sale with Winkworth
Eager to get on the property ladder?
Find out about shared ownership.
Looking for a Mortgage?
See your free Experian credit report beforehand
Search for more properties Holidays Skip Travel of the Week An inspirational collection of villas, boutique hotels & apartments in stunning locations from the Greek Island Specialists�
2010 Early Booking Offers on Celebrity Cruises.
Pay for an Ocean view and receive a free upgrade to a Balcony stateroom + up to $200 Free Onboard Spend!
Great Travel Insurance
Get covered on your travels with a superb range of policies at great prices. Visit InsureandGo.com
Warm white sands, clear blue sea.
Wintersun -�inspiration for your winter holiday
Search for more holidays Place your advert now
Search Ad Reference:
Where am I?
Home Comment Columnists Guest contributors Contact us Back to top NewsCommentBusinessMoneySportLife & StyleTravelDrivingArts & EntsArchive Times Online Times Archive Google TLS Archive
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times, or place your advertisement.
Times Online Services: Dating | Jobs | Property Search | Used Cars | Holidays | Births, Marriages, Deaths | Subscriptions | E-paper
News International associated websites: Globrix Property Search | Milkround
Copyright 2010 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.
Blogs
The Editor of the TLS writes on books, people and politics
Mary Beard of Cambridge and the TLS on culture ancient and modern
Industry sectors news at a glance. Interactive heatmap, video and podcast
Get ready for the winter sports season, with our resort guides and snow reports
We are backing British business, what is the confidence of the nation and what businesses are succeeding?
Read Full Article »